The Crane Cult

War has broken out amongst the UTD students concerning the religious fanaticism that has been sweeping the campus.

The seeds of violence were planted when the two cranes, White and Blue, descended from the heavens, hallowing the grounds of our university. All religious belief on campus ceased and was replaced in the wake of overwhelming evidence of the divinity of these two great beings. Faculty and student alike joined to bow in homage to the Great Ones. Failing students began to be offered as sacrifices in hopes to attain the Cranes’ blessings. Pure sacrifices were met with the beginnings of construction on a STEM MegaHub (particle accelerator and SkyNet system included). Failing to appease the Cranes, however, resulted in repeated scale models of the Art Shed being placed in current parking zones, much to the administration’s horror.

Within days, however, key worship differences began to arrive, driving a wedge in between the new united university community.

“We must crane our heads to look up at our Lord; within our heads is our very essence, which must always be directed toward The One Who Builds,” spoke megaphone activist Anthony Baxter.

“Those head lunatics are nutjobs,” redundantly retorted activist Lily Wu. “How the hell are people supposed to crane their heads? That’s not the muscles you use. You crane your necks, idiots. I’m pretty sure The SkyPiercer appreciates logic and sound anatomy science over your useless rhetoric,”

And thus began the major rift.

Lovers of Progress and Logic flocked to the White Crane, tossing textbooks, social justice pamphlets, and construction blueprints into the ever-rising bonfire to feed their master. Those that valued Power, Will, Intimidation, and Strength chose instead to follow the Blue Crane, setting ablaze the entire Activity Center to display their devotion.

No organization was safe from the fragmentation that divided the university, including the administration. Due to administration members ending up on opposite sides, the school was split into the University of Texas in Richardson and the University of Dallas in Texas (UTR and UDT). UTR donned (hoodless) white robes, calling upon the Construction Worker Acolytes to lead them in educating themselves concerning the White Tower’s origins and makeup. UDT, on the other hand, took the initiative, calling upon the Blue Giant to begin the construction of arms to defeat UTR and reclaim their university.

Amidst all of the battle preparation, however, was revealed the coming war’s greatest tragedy. The two cranes each discussed their Creation Story to their followers. Many pondered how the two cranes were able to exist without their own Creator. The answer was simple; the two cranes had constructed each other, forever uniting them. Together they had built the universe brick by brick, halogen by halogen, dark matter by dark matter. The reason behind the universe’s age was made clear; the cranes just took a really long time to build things. Building soon became an addiction for them, and they couldn’t stop, proving infinite universal expansion.

The Two loved building, and they loved each other. Every night as they would tuck each other in they would look each other in the eyes and ELABORATION REDACTED. The children that resulted would grow into buildings. The Two would look out at their masterpiece, and they were proud. One day, however, they saw a masterpiece come out of their work: a rising up-and-coming university in the South. Unable to wait any longer for the university to reach number one in the nation, they decided that divine intervention was in order.

And thus the Two descended, revealing themselves to mankind to aid them in the improvement of their greatest endeavor: The University of Texas at Dallas. They did not expect, however, the praise that would be lavished upon them. The cheers, cries, and offerings given to them fueled their egos, causing them to lash out at each other to prove their superiority. Each hoped that by succeeding over the other in the coming battle, they would be able to reach a position of power so that they could forcefully mend their relationship, each unaware that it was what the other side wanted.

After much preparation, the war began. The battle was endless; fallen students would merely be reconstructed and sent off to fight again. Allegiances were constantly switched as faculty threatened failing grades to students that fought on the other side, and classes banded together to threaten bad evaluations to opposing faculty. Faculty with tenure were unable to be swayed, however, and mercilessly slaughtered all in their path. The cranes themselves fought viciously, smashing into each other with enough force to shake the globe. Eventually, exhausted, they both toppled, crushing everything they had built since their arrival. The Worshippers of White, believing their Lord to have reacted irrationally in letting emotions control the tide of battle, abandoned their leader. The Battlers of Blue, as well, believed their ruler to be weak and left.

Left alone, the Two cried and grasped each others’ hoists, promising to never again let humanity get in the way of their love. The cranes returned to the great construction zone in the sky, leaving the reunified UTD to once again resort to their own means to construct their future. Inspired by the love between the divine beings, the campus promised to never let their diversity and differences come between them as a community again for at least twenty-four hours.