A law in Oklahoma which, from the ballot box summary that was provided to the voters, “forbids courts from considering or using international law. It forbids courts from considering or using Sharia law.”— Islamic holy law based primarily on the Qur’an, the holy book of Islam, and the Sunnah, the collection of actions and quotations of the Prophet Muhammad— was recently passed, and it is time for all of us to add our voice to similar measures that are being pursued all across the nation and the world.

There is a bold initiative in San Francisco regarding the quality of all urinals in women’s restrooms, which before this point, greatly suffered from an acute case of non-existence. The future inclusion of urinals in women’s restrooms might lead to a startlingly fresh way of looking at the world, and we can’t have that can we?

The world of sports is also paying attention: The Tour De France has passed a new rule banning its competitors from using training wheels, for fear that the bikers might begin to rely on them exclusively.

In similar fashion, the International Olympic Committee is expected to soon announce that all future aquatic racers will not be able to make use of floaties, be they rubber-duckie themed or otherwise; Major League baseball has confirmed that wiffle bats will be banned; and the National Basketball Association has reaffirmed the standing rule that a dog cannot, as a matter of fact, play basketball.

All of these great organizations are merely taking heed of the fine example set by the state of Oklahoma, knowing that trained professionals in long standing trades often wish to rely on seemingly inapplicable crutches, and will do so at the first opportunity.

In a rather transparent attempt to cash in on the anti-Islamic nature of the law and the corresponding fervor which has swept the country, nude beaches everywhere are specifying that their attendees not wear a burqa, barbers across the nation are putting out signs saying that hijabs must be removed before they will cut any hair, and many contractors have put out notices to their employees reminding them that hard hats must always be worn on the job, that headwraps of any other kind aren’t effective, but turbans are least effective of all.

Let’s be honest here folks: America will never stand to be influenced by centuries old religious dogma from a Middle Eastern prophet that asks followers to live good and fruitful lives. The very idea of something like that biasing American policy making or judicial decisions is contrary to our national character. The next thing you know, these people might want to build permanent representations of these holy rules at our court houses!

The fact that Oklahoma specifically targeted the Sharia is to be lauded— we’re living in a time with little to no interaction with Islam and its followers, so trying to understand their culture isn’t important in the least. If there was one thing that both Presidents Bush and Obama stressed as often as possible, it’s that America is at war with Islam, so we certainly shouldn’t be incorporating their holy law in our court system. What if we discover that its mostly similar to the rules set out in the Old Testament, and that vilifying an entire religion is nothing short of an outrageous and ignorant overgeneralization? How red would our cheeks be?

The reinforcing of the supremacy of our civil and secular law was desperately needed in this country. We can’t afford to import our legal principles and jurisprudence from abroad or allow it to be based on ancient history- well, aside from the entirety of our common law system, which is a descendant of medieval England. Our only hope for success is to completely isolate ourselves from the rest of the world, particularly the parts of it that don’t speak English.

This increased fear of Islam is completely justified when one accepts the plainly true fact that the inevitable, inescapable, and tireless efforts of American Muslims to transform our country into a backward theocratic state, quick to persecute all other religions, have been resoundingly successful. After all, one cannot possibly be Muslim and a fan of democracy— Osama Bin Laden says so himself, and he’s the authority on Islam, much like how Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church is the authority for Christianity.

Legislating ourselves into feeling safe, even against the most absurd impulses is the only way for us to truly preserve our security, our sanity, our very way of life in this modern era. If we don’t take a stand now, who knows what horrible unknown future might be sweeping down upon us? Obviously, the only solution is to make that future illegal.